Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Et expedita consequatur quam et.

I can read

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Homophobia is clearly a harmful mental sickness. What can LGBT people do to cure it?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Can I use the LEG PRESS to build muscle?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have a reading level above third grade

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I can count

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Meta in Talks for Scale AI Investment That Could Top $10 Billion - Bloomberg

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Everyone says the pet population is out of control. Everyone says you MUST spay or neuter your pets. No one wants to talk about how its almost $1,000 to spay or neuter a pet. Why is it so expensive if its so necessary? Animal shelters do it for free.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I see through liars

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes